Introverts aren’t the weird loners the world tends to think they are. Many crave companionship and social interactions the way extroverts do, but it’s all about the dosage and scale.
I grew up in a house full of introverts, and I myself am could be considered an ambivert. And depending on the day I take a Myers Briggs Personality Test, I could register as an E or an I.
So here are some sure-fire ways to keep your introvert from feeling left out and confident like you:
1. Include them in activities.
Just because you’re a social butterfly and the life of the party, doesn’t mean you should leave your introvert at home. However, respect our limits. When it’s time to leave, we should probably leave. Having a signal or having a place for your introvert to recharge for awhile can make all the difference.
2. Enjoy quiet time together.
Being in a room together doing separate activities can often be enough to achieve social time, and achieve productivity. Additionally, doing activities you both enjoy makes it easy to rendezvous for a break and can keep you both stimulated. Maintaining physical contact can create a level of intimacy and add depth to your relationship.
3. Introverts often give great advice.
Because introverts are often quietly observing the world around them, we’re often privy to some of the subtle intricacies of humanity. Simply put, we’re paying attention to the minor details, and because of our introspective tendencies, introverts often have great insight into the dilemmas that may be on your mind.
4. Nix the small talk.
Introverts can only handle so much small talk before every ounce of social energy we have is drained. Many introverts find more in-depth conversations stimulating and would much rather be talking about something less trivial than the weather. If you’re aware of subjects your introvert likes talking about, and if somehow during a group conversation, there comes a natural segue — we’ll be happy to chime in (when we’re ready) if we feel included (see #1).
5. We’re selective with our circles.
If we’re dating you, we mean it. Introverts tend to keep their circles small because it’s hard investing the necessary social and emotional energy to cultivate lasting relationships. It takes time for us. Be patient.
6. We screen your calls, but we screen everybody’s.
Introverts often live in their own world. Interruptions aren’t really welcome and they prefer communications that is less invasive, like texting. Haven’t you ever been so focused on something you’d really rather not be bothered? That’s pretty much 98% of life as an introvert, so be mindful.
7. We’ll make you feel like the only one in the room.
In-person we’re 100% present. Introverts thrive in one-on-one situations, which makes us incredible if they are engaging with you. Often, with our tendency to delve deep, we cut through the bullsh!t and get right to it.
8. Give us time.
Time is of the essence. Don’t pressure your introvert. We’re trying. By simply being sensitive to our needs or acknowledging us at the moment, we’ll appreciate it a lot.
Ultimately dating an introvert is all about cherishing, appreciating, and being sensitive to the other persons needs. If that isn’t a recipe for a long lasting intimate relationship, I don’t know what is!
Have you dating an introvert in the past, or are you an introvert yourself? Do you have anything add? If so, share in the comments!