Dating looks like an extrovert’s game. You imagine all those warm personalities having the perfect line at the perfect time and being masters of seduction. You see those people in the club effortlessly rubbing up on one another, walking with grace and a calm demeanor and knowing what they wanted and getting it.
Then there are the introverts.
These are the people whose ideal date would be pizza and Netflix and think that life would be so much better if the pizzaman delivered someone to share it with.
But worry not, introverts! Although it may seem that extroverts own the dating game, it’s safe to say that introverts win by far greater margins. You just have to get out there.
Step 1: Accept that you’re an introvert.
There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. In an older dating model, extroverts might have been seen as alpha and introverts seen as being betas. The extroverts looked strong, graceful, and confident while the introverts, when they bothered to leave their homes, were seem as weak, confused, and awkward. That sort of Redpill mentality can be a fast path to failure.
While there may be some truth to the awkwardness (Hell, it’s the charm of the introvert, admit it), they couldn’t be more wrong about the others. But before I go on to address the strengths of being an introvert and the dating strategy, you have to acknowledge that you are an introvert. Stop trying to be an extrovert. You’re only going to make yourself feel uncomfortable and insincere.
The more you try to be something you’re not the sooner you’re going to actually come off as confused. Admit that you are an introvert and accept that that is alright, even preferable.
Step 2: Locate fellow introvert.
First, you need to locate the introvert of your desires. That’s assuming, of course, that you’re in the market for a fellow introvert. It is possible for an introvert to go after an extrovert, and it happens often, but that’s a story for another time.
This is a crucial element. You might start out by going to bars or going to a club. But ask yourself: is this the kind of place I’d hang out with naturally? Would I come here for fun? Most introverts wouldn’t. Where would you like to hang out? Go there. You like books? Try to find a bookclub. Are you a medieval reenactment enthusiast? Then go where those people go.
Be yourself and go where you’d like to go. Remember, the most important thing to remember about being an introvert is to be yourself. You’ve heard it hundreds of times from every cartoon special you’ve ever watched, be yourself.
Remember what we said earlier about introverts being betas. That’s not true. Introverts are simply so alpha that they don’t waste time being anything they’re not. They’re tough, they’re honest. They don’t have the time for games they don’t want to play. Meet people who like the same things you like and you’ll have an instant foundation for your relationship.
Step 3: Be optimistic.
Suppose you find people who love what you love and there’s one particular special someone whose caught your eye. Luckily, if you’re like most introverts, one-on-one conversation won’t be nearly as difficult as group conversations.
Use your common foundation as a starter and go through the rounds, ask about their life, then eventually ask if they want to hang out.
Try your best to be comfortable and if they say no, don’t get too discouraged. Try to analyze why they didn’t want to and try to fix it in the future. Remember that you are strong, introvert. You’ve got this.
Step 4: Continue dating.
Don’t stress if the first date didn’t go so well. So what? Keep growing, keep meeting new people that share common interest. When you’re sure that you’ve met everyone there is to meet in that field, grow more interests.
The more interests you have the more interesting you become, the more people may find you interesting. Eventually you’ll find that elusive person .
Like you, they are an introvert that needs to be helped out and eased into a comfort zone. By being an introvert you already know that you’re not looking for something superficial like your extrovert counterparts. Continue being yourself and you’ll be set.
Are you an introvert? Have any tips to share?